where to start...

gosh, it's been way too long since i've posted anything. not really sure what to start with!

hannah is potty trained!!!!! i had already decided that the week between christmas and new years i was going to just spend several days at home doing nothing but sitting her on the potty! well, i guess she decided she wasn't going to be told what to do, and instead of being stubborn about it, she decided about 2 weeks earlier that she was done with diapers! she only wants big girl panties, even at nap time, and so far, we have only had one accident! yay!! she still wears a diaper to bed, but for now she definitely still needs that.

christmas break pretty much sucked. i had 2 whole weeks off and was stuck in the house the majority of that time. hannah had fever for 10 straight days. part of it was caused by bronchiolitis i guess, but even after a SHOT of steroids and antibiotic, she would not break the stupid fever. she kept throwing up at the most random times, then she would go a day or two, and then throw up some more. i could not for the life of me figure out what the heck was going on with her. finally marie asked if there was any chance she was teething and i said i had no idea, so later i felt in the back of her mouth, and sure enough...2 of her molars had come through! no wonder she was so cranky!

hannah got a new kitchen for christmas and she does love it, even though she spent the first part of christmas morning throwing up. after a few hours, though, she was "cooking" us dinner and making me "coffee" and having a great time with it! and she does that every night for us now:) it's too cute!

i am in a little bit of a rut again, but am hoping it's just from being stuck in my house for so long. i am back at work now, which really isn't much better, but at least i'm out and about. and hannah is back at chandra's, which she loves. she has so much fun with her friends! cody and i are definitely still in our rut, though, and i'm not sure how to get out of it. he makes comments towards me that are usually negative, and even though he says he's joking and really i pretty much knows he is, it still hurts sometimes. this morning i had had enough so i said something to him about it and all he said to me was that he wasn't going to join my pity party. and then he wonders why i don't tell him how i feel about anything.

we did start a year of devotionals with the book "the love dare" and i am hoping it will be good for us. right now it is about loving when it is hard to love. i struggle with that a lot. i am good at loving the people that are easy to love, but not the people that have hurt me. and don't get me wrong...i love cody more than anything, but right now i am not feeling very loving towards him. i think i just need a little appreciation. oh well.

there is a blog i follow that actually made me post this today. you know, i follow mckmama's blog, and even though it's easy to think she has this great life with these fabulous kids and so much fun stuff that she does, she showed today that she has a "real" side. she posted about how she and her husband are fighting right now and how bad it sucks. it made me feel better knowing that a woman like her in the blogging world has real problems too. i know that sounds silly, but it's easy to get wrapped up in the "fake" part of bloggers. most people post good and happy things, not the yucky things.

i am thinking about eventually making this blog public. can't decide for sure, but i might. no one may even care what i have to say, but it would be a good way to keep everyone updated on hannah for sure. and it would be good to get feedback from friends who might actually be feeling the same way i am. sometimes i feel like i'm silly for feeling the way i do and always being stuck in a rut, but i can't be the only one, right??

until next time...